WHAT YOU NEED TO DO ABOUT YOUR
APPEARANCE
Unfortunately, as it may be
difficult to consult individually with regard to
specific beauty here are helpful beauty
guidelines for you to bear in mind as you try to
achieve your New Look:
GUIDELINE 1: YOUR FACE IS MUCH TOO
FAT
If it looks like
a weather balloon, for God's sake, try
some puce blush on your cheek bones, if you can
locate them, and accentuate those little lines
coming out of the sides of your mouth by filling
them in lightly with an Accountant's Fine
Point Bic pen. |
GUIDELINE 2: WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO YOUR
HAIR
Assuming you
didn't pay for that cut, and assuming that
a deranged, nearblind, palsied person wielding
pruning shears burst into your room in the dead
of night and cut your hair after beating you
unconscious, the only thing that can be
suggested until it grows back out, is that you
join some sort of religious order that has a
mandatory head covering. And when it does grow
back, you want to decide which of the common
head shapes you have and retain a hairstyle that
compliments it.
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GUIDELINE 3: YOUR EYES ARE YOUR BEST
FEATURE
This is
assuming you want to draw attention to your eyes
through subtle use of your lipstick, as a top
New York fashion model might do. Though your
eyes may be your best feature, as being
independent organs, taken as a set, they are may
be three-quarters of an inch too close
together.
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