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Don’t fret if your teen resists. It doesn't always mean that he is disobedient. When a teen resists, he definitely becomes aware that you are listening and at the same time he also develops an awareness of his "inner voice" i.e. feelings, desires needs etc. As a parent, try to nurture the will to cooperate. What type of a child do you have? He/ she could be any one of the following or a combination.

A perceptive, sympathetic, vulnerable child
An energetic lively teen but well planned one
A sociable, easy-going, impressionable teen

If your child is perceptive, sympathetic and vulnerable:

  • He needs a lot of tender loving care, and lots of understanding. Try to validate his pain rather then ignore as, then, he will tend to magnify all his woes and worries.

  • Reassure him constantly that you are always with him. When he resists again and again, tell him you understand. Share an old experience and explain that its OK to feel bad.

  • Don't keep pressuring your teen to always participate in everything. Remember some children participate by only listening and watching and still learn as much as others.

If your child is energetic, lively, and lives a reasonably planned life:

  • He will cooperate with you normally when he knows in advance what the plan/ programme is.

  • Your child will be prepared with a clear structure.

  • Always make sure he is occupied as he hates just sitting around doing nothing. An easy way is to start something and ask him to join in.

  • Never put your child down in public; do it privately. Your child will appreciate you for it!

  • Don't make too many changes as he cannot cope with big changes and prefers a schedules sometimes.

If your child is sociable, easy-going and impressive, is easily distracted and can't concentrate on any one topic for a long time:

  • Use this to your advantage by actually distracting him when he tries to resist. Once he is distracted, lead your teen in the path you desire. Leading doesn't mean instructing; but suggesting to your child where he/ she can make their own decisions.

  • Don't ever refuse the child outright, as this is bound to attract a lot of resistance. Intelligently mould your child into your decision, making them feel as if it is their own decision.

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