| MILESTONE |
CONSEQUENCE FOR
CHILD |
EFFECT ON
FAMILY |
Signs of developing
body. |
Self-consciousness. |
Parents may see this
as self_centeredness. |
| Hormonal
changes |
General moodiness.
Boys who were previously gentle and easygoing
may become much more aggressive. Acne may
develop in boys and girls. |
Parents may find
surliness hard to live
with. |
| Asserts
independence. |
Experiments with
dress, speech, manners, etc. in an attempt to
find a separate identity of his or her
own. |
Parents feel
rejected and have difficulty accepting the
child's wish to be different from them.
|
Rebellious,defiant
behavior. |
Rudeness. |
Parents need to
handle children carefully if good relationships
are to be maintained. |
No longer"
part of
family". |
Demands more
freedom. |
Parents find that
striking a balance between permission and
overprotection is not easy.
|
Friends aremore
important |
Wants to identify as
closely as possible with friends by having the
"right" clothes, hairstyle, etc.,
and listening to the same music.
|
Parents may be
irritated by what they see as conformity and
financial demands. |
Feels sense of
belonging to a peer
group.
|
Holds friends (and
friends' parents) up as a yardstick for
their own treatment. |
Parents are suddenly
criticized by their own
children. |
Has a strong sense
of justice, but from his/ her own point of
view. |
May seem intolerant.
Finds it hard to compromise. May be jealous of
siblings and fight with them. |
Sometimes leads to
clashes with school authorities. Parents must
cope with child's common feeling that
'it's not fair.'
|
