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WHAT YOU NEED TO DO ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE

Unfortunately, as it may be difficult to consult individually with regard to specific beauty here are helpful beauty guidelines for you to bear in mind as you try to achieve your New Look:

GUIDELINE 1: YOUR FACE IS MUCH TOO FAT
If it looks like a weather balloon, for God's sake, try some puce blush on your cheek bones, if you can locate them, and accentuate those little lines coming out of the sides of your mouth by filling them in lightly with an Accountant's Fine Point Bic pen.

GUIDELINE 2: WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO YOUR HAIR
Assuming you didn't pay for that cut, and assuming that a deranged, nearblind, palsied person wielding pruning shears burst into your room in the dead of night and cut your hair after beating you unconscious, the only thing that can be suggested until it grows back out, is that you join some sort of religious order that has a mandatory head covering. And when it does grow back, you want to decide which of the common head shapes you have and retain a hairstyle that compliments it.

GUIDELINE 3: YOUR EYES ARE YOUR BEST FEATURE
This is assuming you want to draw attention to your eyes through subtle use of your lipstick, as a top New York fashion model might do. Though your eyes may be your best feature, as being independent organs, taken as a set, they are may be three-quarters of an inch too close together.

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