edmatrix.com
edmatrix.com
 
Untitled Document


    American Football
    Archery
    Athletics
    Australian Football
    Badminton
    Baseball
    Basketball
    Bowls
    Canoeing
    Cricket
    Cycling
    Darts
    Diving
    Fencing
    Field Hockey
    Golf
    Handball
    Ice Hockey
    Ice Skating
    Judo
    Lacrosse
    Motor Racing
    Netball
    Rugby Football
    Rowing
    Ski-jumping
    Soccer
    Table Tennis
    Volleyball
    Wrestling

HOW TO TELL WHEN THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU

Trained medical personnel detect illness or other bodily problems by looking for “symptoms,” the major ones being these:

  • Aches
  • Pains
  • A total absence of aches or pains
  • Bullet holes
  • A feeling of not keeping up with inflation
  • A leg bone sticking out through the skin
  • Never having the correct change
  • A stoppage of heart or brain activity
  • Irritability

Get in the habit of checking yourself every 20 minutes or so for these symptoms. When you notice one, you should immediately follow this emergency procedure.

  1. Take two pills containing a Scientifically Proven Painkilling Formula that has been advertised on television by a reliable avuncular spokesperson such as Robert Young.

  2. Phone your office to tell them that you won’t be in for several days and could somebody please remember to discard any interoffice memoranda aimed at you. If you have no office, you should phone your mother and have her confirm that there is definitely Something Going Around.

This course of treatment will cure you most of the time. If it doesn’t, you probably have a serious illness, which means you should call your physician’s answering service and make an appointment to go into his office the following month and sit in the waiting room for an hour and 45 minutes reading National Geographic. If that doesn’t work, you should go to a hospital emergency ward and inflict a gunshot wound on yourself, thus increasing the odds that you will see an actual doctor to nearly 40 percent.

Untitled Document

About us | Feedback | Alumni | Contact us | Privacy Policy
Exchange Program | Lend a Helping Hand |Sex Education | Suppliers and Vendors | Parenting | Stay Fit | Home

2012 Edmatrix.us All Rights Reserved.