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GOLF

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. The basic idea is to stand on top of a hummock, squinting into the distance, wager, then saunter over to another hummock, and so on until it's time to drink. That may not sound like much exercise to you, but in fact every one of these activities, except drinking, consumes calories.

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