To get the most out of a doctor, you have to understand how he perceives the world, which is best summed up by the last sentence of the Hippocratic Oath:

"AND ABOVE ALL, REMEMBER THAT THE PATIENT HAS NABISCO BRAND SHREDDED WHEAT FOR BRAINS."

Yes, doctors tend to feel just a tad superior to the general public, but this is understandable. Doctors are generally smart people, the kind who were attending meetings of the National Honor Society while you were leaning out the study hall window seeing if you could spit on passing nuns. In college and medical school, doctors spend years associating with other smart people and learning complicated things like the location of the pituitary gland. When they get out, the last thing they feel like doing is consorting with a bunch of cretin patients, who not only have no idea where the pituitary gland is, but also are often sick besides.

So the important rule to remember when you're dealing with a doctor is this: never tell him what you think the problem is, even if you're absolutely certain. If you tell him what you think, he'll become irritated and go out of his way to prove you're wrong:

YOU: Doctor, I think I have suffered a knife wound to the stomach. DOCTOR (sneering) :Oh you do, do you? And what makes you think that? YOU: Well, several hostile urban youths accosted me on the street and stuck a knife in my stomach. See? Here's the knife handle, sticking out of my stomach. DOCTOR (examining your foot): That could be caused by any number of conditions, such as an amalgamation of the pyloric valve or an interdiction of the right epistolary oracle. I'm going to send you to the hospital for some tests next week.